Quote of the Day

"The way you’re moving in your sleep, the way you look before you leap, the strange illusions that you keep - You don’t know, but I’m noticing."



One Last Thing Before I Fade

People tell me to fight for what I want.
But I'm just so tired of fighting for love.
I want love to fight for me.


Fuckin Shit

Ok, so I have a lot to say...

Ima get hyphy...Be warned...

First of all, how you gonna keep hatin on me for bein friends with some dude?

Bitch calm the fuck down...you don't know me like that.

Actually you don't know me at all, you don't even know my fuckin name, so keep me out yo mouth.

Second, I'm just hella tired of dumbass mother fuckin bitches that are naive as fuck bein hella over dramatic and whiny all the damn time about shit they did to themselves.

I don't know dude, that's why I don't fuck with females yah feel me, they bring too much shit with them.

And that's why they don't try n fuck with me cause I'm chill n can hang wit the boys n they hatin cause they try too hard and don't get no play.

With me it's not even about that shit.

I'm just down to kick it and dudes like that.

I'm not spendin hours gettin ready and I'm not tryna impress no one, and dudes have told me they hella respect that shit.

I'm sorry yo dude wanna kick it wit me and not you, I just got more in common with him...my bad...

I'm just hella mad at bitches right now.

I should say, not all females are like this.

There are some cool ass girls out there, and I have girl friends, but them snobby ass fake mother fuckers ain't makin the cut...yadida.

Like what the fuck bitch, eat a dick and chill out!

FUCK!

Also, I took an at home drug test my sister got me from the dollar store...

I failed that shit...

FUCK ME!

I also spilled pee down my leg...

So does that mean I peed my pants technically?

Cause it spilled outta the cup.

Shit... ;)

Fucking Cross Eyes!

I will never understand why people feel like they have to talk shit about everybody.

So today at work these bitches really just sat there for a few hours talking shit about everyone.

What the fuck...

Is your life really so empty and boring that you need to fill it with some bullshit?

Or are you just that self-conscious and insecure that you have to tear other people down to make yourself feel better?

Either way your sad...

I mean that's hella energy spent tearing someone down that you don't even have the balls to confront.

That makes you a passive aggressive, catty, jealous subhuman.

I just really can't stand that bullshit.

The best part that I couldn't help but laugh at was Corri, "How are you even gonna talk about someone else when you have fucking crossed eyes?! And your not even that cute!"

Fuck man...that shit was funny.

Look, these bitches act tough when they behind someone else, but they won't do shit if they were confronted.

Run up on a nigga!

We Do It Up Big Tho!

So last night I went to my homie Gio's house for a lil kick back.

I had Corri and Melissa with me, so I bought them along.

That shit was crazy.

There aren't words that can properly explain the shit that happened.

Corri got FUUUUCKED up.

Like super fucked up.

Melissa got pretty drunk, and then drunker later...

I was slightly buzzed, but not really cause I didn't really drink since I was driving everyone.

I can hold my alcohol, and it takes a lot for me to feel anything.

I made some friends cause we all bonded over Corri bein a sloppy ass drunk lol.

They didn't believe me when I said she was a lightweight...

After that we ended up at Mel's and brought a bottle in, and drank the whole thing with a dude we know that works there.

We hung out with him for like 5 hours.

Corri was in the car passed out the whole time.

It was Melissa, Jesus, and me drinkin some vodka out of a styrofoam cup (no chase. yee.)

She got hella drunk in Mel's and made a huge ass of herself.

It was pretty hilarious.

I got to watch the sunrise, and then had to go find Corri's shoes.

We found them on the side of the freeway.

We have no idea how they ended up there, but at least we found them.

This isn't even all that happened, haha!

Last night was a good ass night.

Even if I had to take care of some drunk ass bitches.

Thank you Gio for inviting me to kick it <3

Thoughts and Shit

(WARNING: this is a whiny, venting post. Beware!)

So I got home at an actual reasonable time, and immediately fell asleep.

Apparently I was tired.

I've felt shitty all week.

So much is happening from all parts of my life that I think I might be a little overwhelmed.

And it's all up in the air, which makes it worse cause I don't know how anything is going to pan out.

I'm trying to just let everything happen how it's going to, but I'm alone with my anxiety and it fucking sucks.

I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to life, haha corny as fuck!

I'm trying to be good to myself for once though.

I've been thinking about a lot and I think I needa change things up a little.

I kinda strayed from the path I was on, and I need to get back.

I can't let myself fail.

I really need this to work.

I mean I already feel like my past is a completely different life and it's so surreal to think about now.

I just can't fall into my old ways, and I'm honestly scared that I might one day.

I've been strong for 4 years, but it's ridiculously hard to do it alone.

It doesn't help that I keep it a secret and don't tell really anyone.

I don't even really talk about it with the people that know.

I mean I guess it's my fault because I don't let anyone really in, but the thing is I can't.

It's unbelievably hard to.

I kinda wish I could erase everything and start over.

Or maybe just start a new life and forget everything that's happened.

Oh wait, I already did the second one...look how that shit turned out!

I knew I wouldn't get through this completely serious.

Sorry to whine, but I just needed to let that estrogen out and annoy you with my life.

Ok, now back to being manly and shit!

Erm...This is a kid's movie?!



People Saving Animals :)

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Marylin...



Those damn cokehead spiders are the worst!

They move so fast!



Yes Please!



Yeah you stroke that storm cloud mister weatherman...



This reminds me of certain people...



I think I just creamed my pants...

I don't know what it is about dirty bikers, but they are fucking amazing to my life...

Fucking fuck!



Song of the Day

It was slappin in my head when I woke up, and is currently stuck in there...
Brings me back :)

I Give Amazing Mind Fucks!

I shall fuck your mind so you can sleep soundly tonight :)

Goodnight.



Jailbird

So I have three days left of freedom.
Then it's back to school and work.
I have managed to do nothing for two weeks.
What can I say I'm a high achiever ;)
Well, ok, almost nothing.
I haven't really done anything productive, let's just put it that way.


I really don't want to go back to school, but it gives me something to do.
I'm kinda burnt out now :(
I guess that's what doing 20+ unit semesters does to a person though...
That shit didn't even pay off cause I'm still going to be at CC for at least another year, and probably another semester on top of that if I get this job at Kaiser.
So I really don't know what's going on with my life right now.
It's all up in the air kinda.
Everything I'm tryna do is intertwined with everything else, which kinda sucks.
At least I have this blog and what's left of my friends.
Mother fuckers gotta be movin hella far away n shit.
I can't wait to be gone though...hopefully by January?
Then Ima be like deuces bitch! Time to start recruiting for my harem of men!



More laughter



For you to laugh :)



Real Talk Tho

Look...Ima be real clear...

I'm past the point of just fuckin around.

I don't wanna hook up.

I don't want a boy.

I'm tired of these weakass dudes with nothin goin for them tryna holla.

No nigga...you weak as fuck...

I want a man that's about his business you feel me.

I want someone who has his shit on lock, or at least is tryna get his shit together.

I just need someone who's doin something with their life.

I'm tired of these panty wastes.

I don't understand it.

Don't talk to me cause I'm not down to fuck losers.

And don't misunderstand what I'm sayin...

I'm not talkin about having money or a car or any of that shit, cause I can care less about that.

I'm talkin about priorities, goals, and their life in general.

You needa have that shit on lock.

Be a fucking man and man the fuck up.

Broken Ass Bitch

So I have a pulled muscle and a pinched nerve, in my ass.

Yeah I really injured my ass...

It hurts like a bitch and I can't walk, sit, or lay down.

So everything hurts.

Yeah...so much fun...

I always get hurt THEE dumbest way possible and get the stupidest injury.

I have a list of dumbass injuries caused by something ridiculous.

Anyways.

It's really fun not getting any sleep cause my ass hurts and my leg goes numb.

It's all good though, cause I man up and deal with shit.

I just needa stop twerkin so much ;)



Soooo...this is kinda awkward...

I have a lot on my mind...

I have been too busy to pour out my shit onto you like I normally do ;)

Hella people I know are moving hella far away!

Wtf?!
A lot of them are moving literally across the country.

Some moved across the bay, or across the state.

I feel so alone :(

I mean I still have some people, but everyone is so busy with life, including me, that we can never find a day to kick it.

I'm kinda sad that I have all these people in my life and don't get to spend any time with any of them.

I have a week left of what little summer break I had and then it's all work and school until Christmas.

I'm hoping to hear back from the lady at Kaiser Tuesday.

If I do then I really won't have any time for anything for a really long time.

Well a few months at least, but then I'll be moving away, going back to school, trying to transfer, working as much as I can, and trying to pick up the pieces of my life I still haven't picked up yet.

I feel bad cause I have no time to kick it with people and they get mad, but they don't understand what it's like to be working hella much on top of going to school full time.

Especially when I'm working two jobs.

That shit sucks ass.

If I get this job at Kaiser I already might have to drop out of school for a little bit.

I mean I gotta do what I gotta do, but fuck.

I feel like I'm being pulled from all different sides right now, and I need something to ground me.

On top of all this I still have to deal with some dumbass bullshit.

But aye, it's only like 4 more years of this bullshit...

Yep...that's about right...



My Mouth's Always Full Of Shit

So apparently I was lookin cute or something yesterday...or the past few days...

I've been havin dudes textin me outta no where n creepily starin.

Even been asked out a couple times.

It doesn't help that they, for the most part, creepers, and the rest have girlfriends.

Yeah...that's always fun.

I can either get wit a creep or a dude who's taken, that's so much fun.

Why must I be the magnet for assholes?

Why can't I be a magnet for those delicious mens that are koo?! ;)

Plus, are the bitches dudes cheat on their women with the ugly ones...so does that make me ugly?!

That's amazing...

I guess that's something important to know.

I'm only cute enough for a night.

I guess that means I should find random guys to hook up with...that's never hard.



8====D~~~ {()}

True Story LOL



Random Gangsta Shit Tho

Look at that OG throwin up signs in the 40's.

I wonder if gangsters back then had signs/symbols...hmmmm...

I wonder if gangs now stole them....interesting...lol.



Granted it was the 20's when gangsters really "ruled" and not the 40's...

I like how classy they were back then.

Now they look like some dumbasses who lost hella weight but kept their "fat" clothes.

The fuck is that?

I think it's cause they're so skinny they wanna look bigger, and tougher.

Too bad it doesn't work.

Something like the St. Valentine's Day Massacre does though...just sayin...

I mean don't get me wrong some of them are nice looking.

I've even had some lil gangsta boos before.

I guess I'm talkin more about the dumbass wannabes, so maybe I should correct myself...

Pictures of Castello, Lansky, and Siegel, some real ass mafia gangstas.

Luuuuuuk....

Why is it that when I'm koo wit a dude I gotta be tryna fuck him?

Nah bruh, we just friends...you ain't on my steelo...

Last one

Speaking of smoke...

It's the perfect time for the Chevron refinery to explode, being smoke day and all.

The whole sky is dark with smoke right now, and everyone round here is on lock down.

I feel like I'm in modern day Pompeii, except it's not a volcano and we're not gonna turn into creepy statues as we sleep...

I'm pretty sure there's gonna be an outbreak of zombies...

Here's a picture of some guys getting a mouthy when Vesuvius struck.



Marilyn is badass tho.



Some of my favorite things:

• James Dean
• Photography
• Smoking(except not really)









I want one so bad!





In honor of me trying to quit smoking...again...today is smoke day!

I still wanna do a shoot of dudes smokin...

It's really hard quitting cold turkey, but that's how I do everything.

I man the fuck up!

Song of the Day

"A cloud hangs over my head and mutes my happiness.
A thousand ships couldn't sail me back from distress.
Wish you were here I'm a wounded satellite.
I need you here, put me back together, make me right."

Fuck Everyone...In Their Ass!

Ok...maybe it's not that serious...

I just had one of those days, well couple of days, where you realize shit.

I mean I have realized this shit for a while, it was just the last nail in the coffin I guess.

I just feel like everyone always lets me down.

This weekend was the end of some bullshit I'm so done with putting up with some shit.

I just don't understand why people gotta hate and ruin other people's happiness so they can feel good about themselves.

I don't even know if I want to go into it.

I just need to move away already.

I'm more than ready now.

I want to pick up and start over.

Just have a new life where I don't know anyone...and this time I won't put up with ANY bullshit.

I just feel like I always try to start over and shit always has to get fucked up.

How many more times can I do this yenno.

I can't keep starting over cause it's getting old.

I'm tired of it.

That's why everyone loves him! I get it now!