Thoughts and Shit

(WARNING: this is a whiny, venting post. Beware!)

So I got home at an actual reasonable time, and immediately fell asleep.

Apparently I was tired.

I've felt shitty all week.

So much is happening from all parts of my life that I think I might be a little overwhelmed.

And it's all up in the air, which makes it worse cause I don't know how anything is going to pan out.

I'm trying to just let everything happen how it's going to, but I'm alone with my anxiety and it fucking sucks.

I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to life, haha corny as fuck!

I'm trying to be good to myself for once though.

I've been thinking about a lot and I think I needa change things up a little.

I kinda strayed from the path I was on, and I need to get back.

I can't let myself fail.

I really need this to work.

I mean I already feel like my past is a completely different life and it's so surreal to think about now.

I just can't fall into my old ways, and I'm honestly scared that I might one day.

I've been strong for 4 years, but it's ridiculously hard to do it alone.

It doesn't help that I keep it a secret and don't tell really anyone.

I don't even really talk about it with the people that know.

I mean I guess it's my fault because I don't let anyone really in, but the thing is I can't.

It's unbelievably hard to.

I kinda wish I could erase everything and start over.

Or maybe just start a new life and forget everything that's happened.

Oh wait, I already did the second one...look how that shit turned out!

I knew I wouldn't get through this completely serious.

Sorry to whine, but I just needed to let that estrogen out and annoy you with my life.

Ok, now back to being manly and shit!