It's just period day!!

Sounds About Right...



I Tried

I really tried to not vent about bullshit, but I guess when this is the only place I can I did.

Oops.

Oh well.

My bad.

I guess you're just going to have to deal with my whiny bullshit forever :)

Omg it's like we're married!

Excuse me while I abuse my blog here as an emotion venting area.

If You Didn't Know

I love anything with a motor.

I especially love my 72 Dodge Coronet Custom with a 318 ^__^

I would love to put a 440 in it one day.

I'd settle for a 400.

The bigger(and louder) the better ;)
I'm in the process of fixing him up, obviously.
He's going to be amazing when we're done.

Did I Become A Dumb Bitch?!

I think I did...

I keep having dudes tryna get at me, but I don't want them I want someone else.

I could have all these dudes, but I don't.

The funny thing is that the one I really want has no clue and is probably fucking whatever.

I mean it's not even about who's fucking who.

It's that I don't want these lame assholes, and what I do want I can't have.

I feel like a dumb bitch for that.

I let myself catch feelings...

And they're not fickle, lustful feelings like they normally are.

I don't know if I like this shit.

Actually, I fucking hate it.

The Chase?

I don't want to sound weak or anything, but this post is probably going to...

I am tired of having to be my own savior.

I'm tired of always having to pick myself up.

I'm tired of being my own support.

I know I always joke about having a thick delicious man come save me, but you know what it would be nice.

He doesn't even have to be thick or delicious, just cute and funny lol.

I mean I'm not saying I need a man or want him to do whatever the fuck bitches are always talking about.

I just really would like some to be there for me when I am overwhelmed and need to talk to someone.

It gets really old talking to myself after a while.

It's funny though because when a dude does try to be there for me I push them away.

The most recent one I really do/did(?) like.

He was always tryna get in my business and know my life.

Of course me being me was an asshole and refused to tell him anything while making fun of him the whole time.

Now I'm pretty sure I'm never going to see or speak to him again, and it sucks.

I want more than anything to get a second chance, well a third...I totally blew my second chance.

It sucks because he was different and I liked that.

I just have issues with commitment and people showing interest in me.

It’s really hard for me to believe people genuinely care about me and honestly want to know me.

Especially dudes.

Plus the fact every guy in my life has let me down...

I just need someone who is willing to deal with my dumbass bullshit, and I don't think that person exists.

I mean it's not even lame ass drama like most bitches have, its deep seeded issues that made me super fucked up and I think for guy that's harder to be with.

Especially when the bitch is more stubborn than a mother fucker :)

What dude wants an emotionally scarred asshole when they can have a dumb bitch that's easy.

Yadida.

Whiny Littile Low Life

I really need to get out of this shitty hell hole.

I also need to not be confused by dumb assholes.

I have too much going on.

I need another job.

I need a new place to live.

I need a car.

I can't stand being here.

I hate where I'm at.

I really am lovesick.

Ok that's enough of me whining :)



Boredem Entry: Things That Descibe Me Pt. 10

It's really sad how much of  a sucker I am for dimples.

I just can't help myself ^__^



Lovely

So today was Chris's surgery.

We, of course, had another all night movie party.

This time it was more fun, because we weren't at my parents lame ass house.

His surgery was about 10 hours, and we were at the hospital for 12...

We got to see him afterward, but he was still under.

I reeeeeeeally hate seeing people in the hospital.

Especially in ICU.

It comes with very bad memories.

He was sleeping and had all the breathing tubes in still.

It was crazy to see him like that.

So for now he is doing well.

We are going to see him tomorrow, so we'll see how it is then.

Fuuuuuuuuck Maaaan...

So lastnight Chris, Melissa, and I stayed up all night after going out to dinner.

We watched dumb movies all night until we had to get ready this morning.

It was supposed to be a last "hurrah" before Chris has his surgery.

So we were all beyond tired at 6 this morning.

Melissa KO'ed cause she a ho, but Chris and I stayed awake.

I was so incredibly tired when we drove to the city.

We get to the hospital and Chris gos to check in and they tell him his surgery was rescheduled to Friday.

Yeah...

So we then went back to my parents house and got some breakfast.

Well they ate and I kinda ate...

After that we went to see Brave, I being forced to go.

It was stupider as I thought it was going to be!

Melissa cried...no surprise...

I still haven't slept and I have to go to work tomorrow morning :(

Ima be so dead tomorrow.

Plus I have to get the notes for my astronomy class that I missed cause the final is Thursday.

I want to sleep, but I can't fall asleep.

URRRRRRRRG!!!!!!

I'm bout ready to go snuggle up in bed an try to sleep.

Sometimes I just want to rip out my insides so you can finally know how I feel.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

To one of my bestest friends!!

I love you!!!!!



To That One Dork ^__^



More Cool Art



Boredem Entry: Things That Descibe Me Pt. 9

Things I'm allergic to:



Cool Art



It's really sad when the people who are supposed to you know the best, don't know you at all...

For Melissa and Corri...I Bet You Bitches Are Gonna Cry!



A Place I Wanna Go



Boredem Entry: Things That Descibe Me Pt. 8



Shits Gettin Real

So I haven't talked to my brother in about 4/5 years.

Through that time he had heart failure and had to get a new heart.

Even through almost dying a couple times we still didn't reconcile.

 Just last week he kinda started to talk to me in person.

Before that it was text messages or Facebook comments, and that started only a couple months ago.

On July 24 he will be going in for another surgery.

It is to replace his aortic valve, which is the main artery for the heart.

They are going to be completely replacing it with an artificial one.

This surgery comes with a major risk that it doesn't work.

Work as in he could become paralyzed, or die.

There is a big chance he could die.

My sister and I talked about this tonight for the first time.

If he dies our whole family dynamic and everything will change.

It will be only my sister and me against everyone else.

It's impossible to even begin to explain to someone outside what this means, but we will only have each other.

Him and I used to be ridiculously close until this dumbass shit happened and now we don't talk.

If he dies, I'm never going to be able to reconcile with him or have it be like it used to.

I'm only going to have my sister, and it's really sad and overwhelming to realize this.

I'm thinking positive in reality, well, not really thinking about it at all.

It's just crazy to think about it all in retrospect.

Song of the Day

I love this song, especially the chorus...even if it is about getting laid :)

"If the world would fall apart
In a fiction worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing
Now that you're here
Your love is a verb here in my room
Here in my room, here in my room"

P.S. This is totally about someone (^___^)

Oh! And this:

Song of the Day

Listening to this only means one thing...

Somebody's lovesick!

I love this song though, and it has the best pickup lines.

I got bit by the mother fucking love bug.

Dammit...

Suck My Mother Fucking Clit Bitch!

So the other day I over heard some chick talkin shit about my fatness.

First of all, no one will ever top my mom's words on the matter.

I have been called the worst by her...so good luck...

Anyway.

It's funny to me how people are so quick to judge.

Let me enlighten you.

I couldn't get out of bed for four years because I was in so much pain.

Because I was in pain I had to take 25 very strong pills...everyday...

Many of them were steroidal.

If you don't know steroids have serious side effects.

One being weight gain.

When you're bed ridden and not lifting weights the weight gain is fat not muscle.

When I was addicted to those pills I was taking a way higher dose.

In total I gain about 60lbs.

It took about 2 years for me to be able to look at myself in the mirror.

Oh, and since my backs fucked up I have to slowly strengthen it and can only to little exercise at a time.

It's good that no one will know this when they see me, but to me, they look fucking retarded.

Don't fucking judge someone when you don't have a fucking clue what the fuck is going on with them.

Mad as Fuck

I will never understand why people gotta hate.

Well actually I can.

When I was younger, goin through that shit, and hating everything I was fucking evil.

I could and would tear people all the way down.

I knew what to say to make someone hurt deep inside their soul.

I was viciously fucked up to people.

I would feed on people's insecurities and use them to fuck them up.

I was angry at the world though and hated myself and everyone else.

I'd only be like that if someone fucked with me though.

People these days seem to fuckin hate on people and not know what their stories.

I'll fuckin stand up for anyone now.

I'm not that person anymore.

I learned to get over myself and accept whatsup.

There is no point to spend time hatin or judgin people.

Let people do what the fuck they want.

Obviously if its harmful like murder, bullying, ect. then there's an acceptation...

But if someone wants to wear bright ass green pants with a shit colored shirt then let them.

If your opinion of them is negative then that seems like your problem not theirs...

You have no right to make fun of them.

People think your fucking ugly and stupid too, and I'm sure you've heard it...someone else out there will love their outfit...you don't gotta hate.

Basically my point is to shut the fuck up and let people do what they do.

You don't know what someone has gone through and why they are how they are.

You can't judge someone on one little thing you see or think you know.

Fuck all the haters!

Story of my life



Song of the Day

All I'm trying to do is function.

Bitch, you're fucking off my high get up out my mix!

Bruh know whatup up doe!



He was my favorite character.

I loved him!

Hmmm...Maybe this is where my love a trannies stemmed from...



To Make You Laugh :)