Death?

So I have something wrong with me...

In the past maybe 2/3 months I have had weeks where I can't eat anything.

I'm hungry, but I get too nauseous eating anything.

Sometimes I can eat, but then after a few bites I get too nauseous to finish it.

It's getting worse.

Yesterday I was eating dinner and half way through I almost barfed.

I didn't even feel it coming like you normally do.

I was talking on the phone and then all of a sudden it came up and I swallowed it real fast.

Heh heh I swallowed...

ANYWAY! Lol.

(Trying to be lighthearted)

Now I can't really eat again.

The thing is I'm fucking starving the whole time.

But I can't make myself eat cause I get sick just smelling or looking at food.

Yes, I know I need to go to the doctor, but I have NO time to.

I am also kinda scared to find out what it is.

Lastnight my kidney started hurting.

I told my mom I'd rather die not knowing what it is than have to know why I'm dying.

She thinks I'm stupid.

I really hate going to the doctors though.

Last time I had something wrong with me and I went to the doctor for it my life was ruined forever.

PS I am NOT pregnant as many people ask, especially my mom...