Shits Gettin Real

So I haven't talked to my brother in about 4/5 years.

Through that time he had heart failure and had to get a new heart.

Even through almost dying a couple times we still didn't reconcile.

 Just last week he kinda started to talk to me in person.

Before that it was text messages or Facebook comments, and that started only a couple months ago.

On July 24 he will be going in for another surgery.

It is to replace his aortic valve, which is the main artery for the heart.

They are going to be completely replacing it with an artificial one.

This surgery comes with a major risk that it doesn't work.

Work as in he could become paralyzed, or die.

There is a big chance he could die.

My sister and I talked about this tonight for the first time.

If he dies our whole family dynamic and everything will change.

It will be only my sister and me against everyone else.

It's impossible to even begin to explain to someone outside what this means, but we will only have each other.

Him and I used to be ridiculously close until this dumbass shit happened and now we don't talk.

If he dies, I'm never going to be able to reconcile with him or have it be like it used to.

I'm only going to have my sister, and it's really sad and overwhelming to realize this.

I'm thinking positive in reality, well, not really thinking about it at all.

It's just crazy to think about it all in retrospect.