Not Breathing

I can't deal with shit right now.

Like I don't understand why people who know what the fuck I'm going through can't at least see wassup with me.

I mean I feel like that's selfish or something, and I'm not asking for every one's attention.

Fuck attention.

All I want is someone to be there when I need them the most.

Why is it that I am always there for every fuckin person, but when I need someone no one is to be found.

Like fuck, people I've only known for like a month were there when other people weren't.

It's fucked up to me.

Like how is it that people I've know for a short while are willing to go out of their way to be with me and my bullshit, when people that should be there from the start are too busy tryna be whatever the fuck they're doing.

I'm so over everything at this point.

Like I really just want to transfer, move away, and start over.

Fuck it.

I can't deal with what I have to deal with, on top of everyone else's bullshit, and then this extra bullshit.

And it's funny cause when I push people away that's when I want them the most.

That's exactly what I did to the one person I want with me the most right now.

I took out some of my anger on them, but their kinda part of the reason I was mad in the first place.

Whatever though...

I have too much to deal with to worry about people who are on that other shit.

I copped some green n I'm bouta blow tomorrow by myself n let everything slowly escape me for awhile...

I don't care if I'm going back on what I told someone.

That's exactly why I don't make promises...